“It also lets the other person know that I care.”

Interpersonal Conflict Resolution

I’ve always been considered abrasive, direct, and confrontational. It wasn’t until I was much older that I understood why: I would rather understand an issue directly than indirectly.

In uncomfortable situations, most people prefer to stay passive, mostly to make the moment go away quickly. I often feel this is exactly where a conflict gets worse.

That’s not to say taking it head-on removes the chance of the issue deepening. But in my experience, it gets resolved more clearly.

Professional and Personal

This extends beyond personal relationships into professional ones. Without direct conversation, I’ve often found the misunderstanding only deepens.

Sometimes we treat silence as proof. They think your quiet proves their point, or you think theirs proves yours. And when we fantasize about what something might mean, we only make matters worse. We start assuming things that may never have been true in the first place.

It’s very uncomfortable, even for someone like me, because I know it can make an issue worse. But the more I’ve done it, the more it has been a tool for making sure there are no misunderstandings.

It also lets the other person know that I care.

Just small tools to help us become who we hope to be. That’s all I hope anyone gets from this.